The backlash that occurred this week after Press Secretary Robert ‘Good Old Boy’ Gibbs directed his frustration at the cable news networks, more specifically at those programs on the ‘left,’ which was responded to here by Keith ‘Fat Head’ Olbermann is just another façade of shit in this mindless shit throwing contest that has characterized the mood of the country this summer. It seems to me that, more now than ever since Obama’s election, we Americans have grown into a bunch of finger-pointing, pussy tattletails with nothing better to do than sit back and wait for someone to slip on our banana peal. When what we should really be doing is watching out for the banana peal and replacing it with a dildo when no one is looking to see what kind of reaction that will get.
If I’ve lost you here, you haven’t been reading the blog and you should throw in the towel and crawl back to mommy. But if, like me, you’re tired of these shallow attempts at defining what is ‘left’ and what is ‘right’ and you’re willing to think beyond this cycle of tyrannical bullshit that is the system, then I say join in the Freemont cause. Think beyond the jockeying for position Robert ‘Good Old Boy’ Gibbs’s and Keith ‘Fat Head’ Olbermann’s of the world. We will begin by infiltrating the local media with odd news stories that won’t necessarily be attached to one group. There will be random acts of protest not necessarily connected to one person or one cause. It will be a mutual breaking free from your normal realm of consciousness and expanding your social agenda into the world of the weird. Yes, this means smoking more pot and possibly trying some other drugs while you’re at it, but it will also most likely mean getting laid more on the way. Who wouldn’t fall for a guy or a gal who could in one instance encourage a group of non-English-speaking immigrants to go on strike for a day against their dickhead landscaping boss and in the next instance paint a play ground full of penises?
If I’m losing you here, Friends of Free, you’re better off lost. And you can join the rest of the wining world that tries to define left and right. Meanwhile, I will shaping the necessary and meaningful plans for the revolt. And, when the revolution is upon us, I’m sure no one argue with which side is having the most fun.
Soon to be a local TV Host,
Mr. Freemont Barrington
P.S. – More news to come on the show. It has been a long and hard week of brainstorming with Mr. Backcorner.
