A Freebie from Freemont

Since when did the Democrats wreck the fucking country and then think it was a good idea to turn into apologists for it? Well, it would appear since Wednesday November 3^rd, 2010. Because when the country woke up in the morning on Wednesday the Republicans—these same gullible white asshole men who had brought us into a financial disaster of which the country has not seen during my lifetime—had won back the House of Representatives and, before the country went to bed, the President had already held a press conference in which to apologize for it. Barrack Obama didn’t look confident when he took the stage in front of the press. In fact, he looked completely brow beaten as he delivered the message that he “is eager to hear good ideas wherever they come from” and hopes to “engage both Democrats and Republicans in serious conversation.” Thus spoke the Apologist-in-Chief on Wednesday—the same man that had united and inspired so many people just a couple short years ago.

Well, if the president is indeed being truthful with his words (which we all know he isn’t), the first two ideas that he can look forward to from the Republicans are… oh, wait, they aren’t ideas at all, but, rather, a reevaluation of the ideas that have already been agreed upon. For you see, the first political moves of the Republican House come January will be, first, an attempt to repeal the healthcare reform bill and, second, a power play to challenge the elements of the Dodd-Frank Financial Reform Bill. Now, if you are a guy like me who believed that neither of these bills went far enough with their actions to actually reform the system, you can only imagine how psyched I am to see Congress tie up time and money in order to try and make these same bills even more watered down than they already are. For a party that ran their campaigns on the idea that the country needed to reduce the government’s wasteful spending, these slippery Republican fucks sure do like to sit around jibber jabbering on the American tax dollar.

In the upcoming months, rather than moving forward with new initiatives, what we can expect is a whole lot of pulling out of penises and placing them onto the table to see which ones are bigger. What I also fear in the months ahead is that we apparently have a president who is unwilling to sharpen his ax, spit into his palms, and swing that thing down onto the hardening dicks of these Republicans. See, Mr. Obama did not only look deflated to me on Wednesday, he looked limp. He looked like a man who had been bent over his Oval Office desk and had several different red objects shoved up his asshole.

So, in a time when most Americans are apparently asking for compromise, what I’m asking for is a fight. Because I am sick and tired of progress being put on hold and I am ashamed of living in a country made up of politicians who are unwilling to fight back the way that the rest of us seem to. People say that I tend to favor the Democrats on this blog, but I really would have to disagree. Who I favor are people willing to stand up, to tell it like it is, and to use any means necessary in order to get what they want. Richard Nixon was a person like that. He was a crooked, bigoted fuckwad who would sell you down the river when you weren’t looking. But, he knew how to play politics in order to get what he wanted and he didn’t let anyone stand in his way (anyone except himself, as it turned out). For that, I tip my hat. And, if it were up to me, I would suggest to the president that he pull a Trick Dick out of his pants this January when the Republicans take over. But, that just isn’t his style. He would rather appear on 60 Minutes tonight in his new and most comfortable—the Apologist. Now, is that really the man that Americans voted two years ago?

The American people don’t need an apologist. What they apparently need is a fucking life couch. Someone to stand their fat asses up in the morning, to douse them with cold water, and to deliver them with a few firm slaps in the face before they enter the real world—the place where everything is shit on account of their tedious and incessant apathy.

So, wake up! It’s another morning in the world of the Free.

- Freemont Barrington

When Election Day arrives on Tuesday, everyone will be anticipating a shit storm for the Democrats. It appears the nation has been swept up by a wave of conservative backlash caused, in part, by the political influence of the Tea Party ‘movement.’ What we stand to see on Tuesday is the triumph of a number of far right conservatives in states like Nevada and Florida who have, in some cases, gone against the Republican establishment in order to rise to power. These conservatives, such as Sharron Angle and Marco Rubio, have seized a moment in American politics, a moment that has allowed an opportunity to raise historic amounts of money towards their campaign bids for public office that never would have been possible a year ago. This same political climate, these politicians claim, will help champion their conservative ideals and inspire a new brand of politics in Washington. The only problem is one thing: they forgot to run their campaigns on a political platform that is even remotely fucking feasible. In fact, they will be beating the Democrats come Tuesday by building a mountain of bullshit that lies atop a gently and strategically placed mesh of hay covering a deep, dark hole with spikes at the bottom of it. You know—like the one at the end of Goonies where Data almost parishes were not for his trusty plastic teeth attached to a Slinky that turned out to be one of his successful inventions. The only difference here is that the Tea Party Republicans do not have any such ingenuity and they will eventually impale themselves on the spikes at the bottom of the long, dark pit.

See, the Tea Party platform—this notion that government is bad, that the deficit is too high, and that all we need is a whole lot of tax cuts in order to stimulate the economy and create jobs—is a terribly impossible one. We’re not going to do anything about the deficit unless some taxes are raised or unless someone has a clear and far-reaching plan to create large economic growth in this country. Tea Party candidates not only don’t have a coherent plan to grow the economy, but they are also unsupportive of the areas of the economy where growth can be nurtured like in science and green technology. Now, I’m not saying that the Democrats have done a great job in pushing forward their agenda. And President Obama ran his 2008 campaign on a platform that set him up for sure failure as he created impossibly high expectations to live up to. But, his administration continues to have a plan for the future—one is founded in reality. I will continue to argue that he has been completely inept at executing this plan due to a lack of balls and his refusal to shove policy down the clenched throats of Republicans. Yet, it remains a focused platform (as methodical as it may be), one that is contrary to the impossible nature of what conservatives are proposing.

So, go ahead fuckwads—take back the House. In fact, I have already been planning on how much fun I am going to have when the Sharon Angle’s and the Mark Rubio’s of the world take their first crack at solving the troubles we find ourselves in. Because, when they dig into their pockets for the answers and all they find are blank checks from anonymous corporate donors with nothing written in the memos, then, the idiots of this country will realize that the answers were something lost in the waves of confusion that was the election of 2010.

Mark my fucking words, Friends of Freemont, as I continue to tell you that this modern day ‘Tea Party’ is not a movement. And, since the Democrats are apparently too much a bunch of pussies to play the hard kind of politics that are needed to defeat the mindless masses of clueless assholes, it will take people like us to lead our own revolution if we want to wake up in a world that makes sense anymore.

I am may be an eternal pessimist, but it is because of this that I am willing to fight.

Your Sergeant at Arms in this Chaos of Shit,

Freemont B. Barrington