A Freebie from Freemont

By the end of last night, I was completely exhausted from the whole weekend and a whole year, for that matter, of the healthcare reform debate. And, as it was all said and done and the Democrats were congratulating themselves on a job well done, I found myself feeling more satisfied with the way the Democrats had passed the healthcare reform bill rather than being pleased with the bill itself. Yes—it is true that I supported the passing of this legislation and that I spent a good portion of my weekend calling Representative Mike Capuano’s office of the 8th District of Massachusetts to urge the Congressman to vote Yes for the bill. When it proved fruitless calling up his DC office, I gathered up some face paint and some friends and I walked down to the District location and staged a good old fashioned sit-in on the corner of First and Charles Street in Cambridge Massachusetts. By the late afternoon on Saturday, it was announced that the Congressman would be voting Yes vote for the bill and, as a walked home with warrior paint smeared over my face and a pocket full of pot marijuana that we had smoked throughout the entire sit-in, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat pleased that I’d done a small Freemont part in this healthcare debate.

Sunday morning started with racial and homophobic epitaphs being yelled at Rep. John Lewis of Georgia and Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts as they walked into the House chamber in Washington. I had heard that there was a possibility that a vote would be cast some time around 3PM, but as the day dragged on and as Bart Stupak, the Anti-abortion coward from Michigan, delayed his press conference, it seemed to me like there was still plenty of time for the Democrats to fuck this thing up. 

But, when the smoke cleared, and all the votes were taken, they had finally done it—they had passed a healthcare reform bill that weeks earlier was absolutely dead. I myself on this blog, after the healthcare summit meeting that took place at the Garden Room of Blair House, had written that “… the ONLY hope (lied) in the miracle of Obama playing some brilliant politics, which we (had) yet to see throughout this entire debate.” Well, lo and behold, the Democrats did it and they did it the way that I said they should: by ramming it down the fucking Republicans’ throat.

This bill is far from being the solution to the healthcare problem in this country, but, as I watched my television and I looked at the smiles on the Democrats faces and the old man frowns that were painted on those of the Republicans, I thought to myself: you mother fuckers got what you deserved. It was a long time fucking coming, but it finally happened, you arrogant fuckwads. The Democrats finally shoved an enormous shit burger down all of your fucking throats. And, as I sat alone in my apartment, I couldn’t help but grin and say: fuck you.

Fuck you for Iraq. And fuck you for the Patriot Act. Fuck you for Guantanamo. And fuck you for the tax cuts to the rich. Fuck you for the lack of response during Katrina. Fuck you for the absence of any effort towards global warming. And fuck you for Dick Cheney. Fuck you for cutting funding for stem cell research. And fuck you for conjured death panels. And fuck you for this last decade of abandoning the poor and middle classes. And Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Now, take a big bite out of your own shit and go fuck yourselves, you Republican fucks.

I believe that my sentiment during the Bush years can be summed up the best through what was said by Neil Young shortly before we blindly went into Iraq (a war which I never once supported). He stood up on stage and he said that he felt like he was inside of a gas guzzling truck with no breaks headed for a cliff and there was nothing he could do about it. Well, I believe that for the last decade that there’s plenty of Americans who have felt the same way, but who have been drowning so deep in their own shit that they’ve been unable to speak.  So, it was good to finally see the Republicans receive a taste of their own medicine. That was the real victory yesterday. President Obama and Nancy Pelosi, they finally took a fucking stand and played the politics that we’d all been telling them they should have played all along. And guess what—it worked. 

I read an AP blurb earlier today that John McCain said that the Democrats should not expect anything from the Republicans for the next year. And, you know what, John? I think that this is a fight that the new President Obama is willing to fight. And David fucking Plouffe better be fucking listening. Because that McCain statement needs to be on every fucking flyer, every fucking thank you letter that the DNC sends out this month. Now is not the time to bask in the glory. Now is the time to continue to fight. And I’m fairly fucking certain that running for reelection on the platform that nothing is going to get done for the next year is a death sentence for John McCain’s 2010 campaign. He is old; he is out of touch; and he is in big fucking trouble. It will be up to the Democrats to expose this Republican mentality and use it against them in the 2010 elections.

So, don’t back away now, Democrats. Keep the foot on the peddle. And for those of us leftists— despite a small victory yesterday—universal healthcare is still a long way away. We need to continue to fight the good fight, Friends of Free.

In the meantime, I will be brushing up on my photoshop skills.  Because creating a picture of President Obama licking the asshole of Nancy Pelosi while giving Harry Reid a reach-around is no small feet. It is certainly a challenge in it’s own right. But it’s one that I’m glad to be undertaking.

Keep the fight alive.

- Freemont Barrington 

Friends of Free-

My dick has been deemed permission to pass through many vaginas in my lifetime—some situations taking hours of convincing, others dragging on for weeks. Some were a gentle slide through. Others were a fight to the last moment before penetration. But, in the end, I don’t regret a one of them. I’ve had sex with so many lovely women of this world that I believe, contrary to some feminist scum who say otherwise, that it has made me a better and more compassionate man.

Now, the Republicans are making you believe that this “Deem and Pass” method of passing the healthcare reform bill is an all out gang rape. They want to portray the Democrats as shoving their stiff dicks down the assholes of the American people. But, in the end, what I believe is that it’s about fucking time that these pussy Democrats played some Republican politics in order to get something done in this country. I do have to agree with many liberal bloggers and journalists and so forth that the passing of this bill (despite its many faults) would be an important step forward for healthcare in this country and for the American people. I hear these Republican talking points and all I can think of is of an old, white male American as he chomps on a cigar at a Little League baseball game and yells at the umpires. It’s fucking trite, old man, and time enough to step aside and let it go. 

So, the issue that stands before us right now is not the Republicans, but, rather, the Democrats. And over the next few days it will be the job of Nancy Pelosi and the White House to get as many members of the House of Representatives on board in order to deem this fucker and have it on the president’s desk to sign into law. We’re at the convincing stage of this debate, FOF, and hopefully something that looks similar to the homestretch. For the next couple of days the progressive House members will crow about the lack of a public option and the conservative, blue dog fuckwads will get all nervous about their constituents, fiscal responsibility, and their reelection.

That being the case, my Free word of advice to Nancy Pelosi (if I may draw comparison to my sexual conquests) is as follows:

Blue Dog Democrats are like Catholic girls. They are very fucking uptight about their vaginas. You need to work and work these girls. You need to show that you do, indeed, care about them, you just don’t understand that whole church thing and you’d prefer the relationship to move on from this heavy petting stage—one that is giving you a terrible case of blue balls on a regular basis. So, here’s the deal, Ms. Pelosi— since these Catholic girls (especially Irish Catholic) are so hung up on that vagina— you’re going to have to act very deliberately to bring it home. The solution I’ve found is that you take her to dinner and show her a nice night out on the town, you get her very drunk, and then when you go back home and you’re getting after it, you propose that you’ll slip it in the backdoor. You assure her that you’ve done this before and that, according to her logic, she’ll still be a vaginal virgin when it’s all over. And you reasonably explain to her that she’s not going to want to do this shit smelling escapade with her eventual husband anyways. Now, I don’t like ass sex that much, Nancy, but, sometimes you need to take one for the team. And you’ve been doing a surprisingly good job of that in the last week.

Progressive Democrats are a different story.  They are the slut girl that walks this land who has fucked every one of your friends, but, for some reason, has a hang up on fucking you because she doesn’t understand your sense of humor or she’s afraid that you’re so goddamn fucking cool that she’s going to fall in love with you or something. Well, Nance, this is what you do with the slut girl—you don’t stop cracking your usual jokes. In fact, you lay them on even thicker. And you weasel yourself deep into her psyche until the thought of having sex with you begins to enter her mind. And, when the issue is raised again, you convince her that it’s just sex. It might be good. It might be bad. But, you’ll never know if you don’t try it. And all you’re really doing is depriving yourselves of something that could be mutually beneficial to the both of you. That, Nancy, is how you work an uninterested slut into a steady fuck buddy. I’ve done it a hundred times if I’ve done it once, Madam Speaker.  

With that said, I wish the best to all my Friends of Freemont this weekeend. I do still promise a self-produced Photoshop if this bill is deemed and passed. Although, now I’ll have to most likely adjust the image to Obama ass-licking Nancy Pelosi and then giving Harry Reid the reach-around.  I think that’s the way to go.  Now where else can you go for that kind of political coverage outside the world of the Free?

So, what’ll be Democrats? A nice ass-licking, reach-around or another decade of madness?

The Only Show in Town,

Mr. Freemont Barrington 

In a surprising twist to healthcare reform debate this week, Harry “the Bushweed” Reid has turned his sunken old man eyes back in the direction of a public option and suggested that the Democrats may be able to pass a filibuster-free bill that includes the highly debated government run plan.  The move, of course, has been perceived as being a political move to appease the left and help increase his chances of reelection next year.  

Now, I’ve been shitting on Harry Reid for several weeks on this blog as being the balless swine that he is.  So, you may be wondering if this changes anything.  Well, don’t you fret, friends of Freemont—this recent news will not swing my opinion of the aforementioned fart-slipping asswipe.  I am happy that recent polls have shown that most Americans favor a public option, which may be good cause for the Senator of a urethra-sized kidney stone to rethink his positioning.  But I doubt it will make him any more effective at facilitating the passing of a reform bill.  In fact, this fucker is going to need a steady diet of Xanax for the next few weeks and on into the mother fucking new year, if you ask me.  He remains a balless hack whose fruity mannerisms and soft speeches ooze fear and incompetence.  If all goes well, the health care bill will pass with the public option, the Dems will keep good positions in the House and Senate, and Reid will die an old man’s death, giving fruit to a harder-skinned Senate Majority leader.  So, go fuck yourself, Harry, and your little snake-haired witch too.

Other than that, all smiles here today from your:

Mr. Freemont Barrington    

Healthcare took a cold, wintery turn this week as Maine’s rugged, man-looking senator, Olympia Snowe, voted for the Baucus Bill up on the hill.  If you’d like to take a look at this fucker, have gander at its entirety: here.

As I’m a man on the move—attending various secret meetings with friends, enemies, and fellow revolutionaries as well as having sex with numerous admirers—I did not have time to fine-tooth comb this mother fucker of a healthcare reform proposition.  But my gist of it is this: the plan tries to throw money at the problem without really holding any of the insurance companies or employers responsible for providing good health coverage to US citizens.  It’s like child protective services finding a starving kid in a crack house and handing over some food money to the crack heads.  Here ya go, crack head.  Buy the kid some groceries.

Listen here— if you fine all the pot smokers in Massachusetts every time they get caught with a dime bag, are you going to stop them from smoking pot?  Sure, you’ll collect some cash for the state, but wouldn’t it just be easier and more profitable to have the state regulate and sell it themselves?  So, if you fine a company or insurance agency for not providing adequate health coverage, what is the organization’s incentive to change their ways if you don’t create regulatory laws and a state-run option to raise industry standards?   

Without delving any further into the logistics of this Congressional cluster fuck, let me say that I put the blame on the Left.  We have not been creative.  We have not answered the battle cry.  When the wolves were coming in through the backdoor, we were watching TV and, fuck, if those beasts didn’t sniff out the rump roast.

I will finish by giving an updated congressional troll call on my usual suspects: 

Joseph “king Jew” Lieberman — obviously continuing to be a total and utter vagina; CT, you should be ashamed of yourself for letting him win as an Independent and not voting him out when you had the chance. 

Harry “the Bushweed” Reid — absolutely worthless; he might as well be the Senate Minority Leader—baking cookies and spooning his husband’s milked dick every evening. 

John “the Coward” Kerry — believe it or fucking not, he’s awoken from his Frankenstein coma and actually done some conservative bitch slapping.  Jesus, John, it’s about fucking time.  Your office may get an email from me very soon.

And, finally, a poem:

The weather outside is frightful 

and balls are being tickled delightful, 

but let us stand firm and be spiteful 

and not just let it Snowe, 

let it Snow, let it Snowe.

( A Freemont healthcare original)

After traveling into the woodsy depths of upstate New York for the weekend, I have come to a surprisingly small amount of conclusions about the healthcare reform crisis that perches it’s fat bloated ass in front of our seemingly pathetic and disjointed nation.  This reason I believe is due, in part, to the fact that I am a man of action, a man who theorizes from a sociological standpoint, who studies the behavior of groups, and not one who is overly adverse as to the inter-workings of United States Congressional Committees that help to form the platforms from which edicts are passed.  I am not adverse in this side of politics because it is here where the darkest black holes of political efficiency exist.  These committees, made up of sweaty ball sucking (for the most part) white men looking to build their resumes and cushion their agenda in the interest of groups, work to cloud the vision of a truer, straighter pissing America.  

But into these committees has President Obama thrown his precious healthcare reform agenda.  His political strategy was clear—don’t pull another Hillary.  If the Senate wants it (as all of the Senate does in one form or another), let them form it with my guiding hand.  Well, if it’s anyone who should know that the Democratic Party of fart cupping wafters left to its own devices will do nothing more than chase its tail in utter disbelief, it’s Barack Obama— a man who seemingly saved the the same ball sniffers when he and Axelrod and Emanuel took the bull by its horns and showed them how to really run a national campaign against the Republicans.

And so it pains me now that the healthcare debate has been highjacked by these townhall-styled meetings filled with empty god-fearing assholes and blue-dogged pussy pissers in the House of Men jockeying for their pathetic positions.  (Not to mention a lack of any sort of clairvoyance from the Medusa-haired stone-facer from San Fran and the hopeless Nevada geezer throwing pennies into a quarter slot machine and pissing himself off of free cups of soda pop at the casino).  

And it pains me that Obama himself has not stepped up to once again grab the bull by the fucking horns, ride on through this mind field of exploding shit and address the American public on a national level so that they understand the nature of the troubled healthcare system and what he thinks is the best way to fix it.  Grow a set already.  It’s high time for Rahm to wake up from his slumber, throw together a stream of obscenities aimed at the president (possibly mixed in with some good-natured racial slurs) and go back on the offensive for Christ’s fuck sake.  

So hear me, oh jew of few words that aren’t made up of four letters.  And listen up, black man of tepid race:

Moses could see the promised land, but he never made it there.  Martin had a dream but was shot still talking about it.  The time for gentleness is over.  It’s time to be an Abbie.  It’s time to be a Huey….  Free at last, god almighty, free at last!      

As hard as radical, righteous mother fuckers like myself fight to take down the system, this fucking country has never been and will never be a socialism (European or not) until it is eventually inevitably swallowed by the sea.  By then, I will be long dead and most likely shit fucking Lucifer’s mistress while he is busy jamming his large cock into Dick Cheney’s out-stretched asshole.  But we’re not there yet.  Where we are is in a pile of shit.  One that now appears to be dictated by a number of centrist-swinging, homo-hating Democrats fixed on coming off as the level-headed, anti-liberal heros of their day.  I suppose these fuck-wads should fashion themselves six shooters and mosey about Washington like they’re mavericks who’ll chastise CEO’s till the cows come home, but tighten their spurs around their horse’s loins when extended healthcare budget spending threatens their sauntering, limp-dicked agenda.

Well, there’s a new massa on the ranch.  And it’s time for him to start showing his authority around the house.  So, he best be rounding up his misguided steer:in order to find him some loyal house crackers.

Or else, before he realizes it, we’ll have another Lone-Ranging Fat Body riding the land:

 (his new name yet to be determined).

- Freemont