A Freebie from Freemont

By the end of last night, I was completely exhausted from the whole weekend and a whole year, for that matter, of the healthcare reform debate. And, as it was all said and done and the Democrats were congratulating themselves on a job well done, I found myself feeling more satisfied with the way the Democrats had passed the healthcare reform bill rather than being pleased with the bill itself. Yes—it is true that I supported the passing of this legislation and that I spent a good portion of my weekend calling Representative Mike Capuano’s office of the 8th District of Massachusetts to urge the Congressman to vote Yes for the bill. When it proved fruitless calling up his DC office, I gathered up some face paint and some friends and I walked down to the District location and staged a good old fashioned sit-in on the corner of First and Charles Street in Cambridge Massachusetts. By the late afternoon on Saturday, it was announced that the Congressman would be voting Yes vote for the bill and, as a walked home with warrior paint smeared over my face and a pocket full of pot marijuana that we had smoked throughout the entire sit-in, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat pleased that I’d done a small Freemont part in this healthcare debate.

Sunday morning started with racial and homophobic epitaphs being yelled at Rep. John Lewis of Georgia and Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts as they walked into the House chamber in Washington. I had heard that there was a possibility that a vote would be cast some time around 3PM, but as the day dragged on and as Bart Stupak, the Anti-abortion coward from Michigan, delayed his press conference, it seemed to me like there was still plenty of time for the Democrats to fuck this thing up. 

But, when the smoke cleared, and all the votes were taken, they had finally done it—they had passed a healthcare reform bill that weeks earlier was absolutely dead. I myself on this blog, after the healthcare summit meeting that took place at the Garden Room of Blair House, had written that “… the ONLY hope (lied) in the miracle of Obama playing some brilliant politics, which we (had) yet to see throughout this entire debate.” Well, lo and behold, the Democrats did it and they did it the way that I said they should: by ramming it down the fucking Republicans’ throat.

This bill is far from being the solution to the healthcare problem in this country, but, as I watched my television and I looked at the smiles on the Democrats faces and the old man frowns that were painted on those of the Republicans, I thought to myself: you mother fuckers got what you deserved. It was a long time fucking coming, but it finally happened, you arrogant fuckwads. The Democrats finally shoved an enormous shit burger down all of your fucking throats. And, as I sat alone in my apartment, I couldn’t help but grin and say: fuck you.

Fuck you for Iraq. And fuck you for the Patriot Act. Fuck you for Guantanamo. And fuck you for the tax cuts to the rich. Fuck you for the lack of response during Katrina. Fuck you for the absence of any effort towards global warming. And fuck you for Dick Cheney. Fuck you for cutting funding for stem cell research. And fuck you for conjured death panels. And fuck you for this last decade of abandoning the poor and middle classes. And Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Now, take a big bite out of your own shit and go fuck yourselves, you Republican fucks.

I believe that my sentiment during the Bush years can be summed up the best through what was said by Neil Young shortly before we blindly went into Iraq (a war which I never once supported). He stood up on stage and he said that he felt like he was inside of a gas guzzling truck with no breaks headed for a cliff and there was nothing he could do about it. Well, I believe that for the last decade that there’s plenty of Americans who have felt the same way, but who have been drowning so deep in their own shit that they’ve been unable to speak.  So, it was good to finally see the Republicans receive a taste of their own medicine. That was the real victory yesterday. President Obama and Nancy Pelosi, they finally took a fucking stand and played the politics that we’d all been telling them they should have played all along. And guess what—it worked. 

I read an AP blurb earlier today that John McCain said that the Democrats should not expect anything from the Republicans for the next year. And, you know what, John? I think that this is a fight that the new President Obama is willing to fight. And David fucking Plouffe better be fucking listening. Because that McCain statement needs to be on every fucking flyer, every fucking thank you letter that the DNC sends out this month. Now is not the time to bask in the glory. Now is the time to continue to fight. And I’m fairly fucking certain that running for reelection on the platform that nothing is going to get done for the next year is a death sentence for John McCain’s 2010 campaign. He is old; he is out of touch; and he is in big fucking trouble. It will be up to the Democrats to expose this Republican mentality and use it against them in the 2010 elections.

So, don’t back away now, Democrats. Keep the foot on the peddle. And for those of us leftists— despite a small victory yesterday—universal healthcare is still a long way away. We need to continue to fight the good fight, Friends of Free.

In the meantime, I will be brushing up on my photoshop skills.  Because creating a picture of President Obama licking the asshole of Nancy Pelosi while giving Harry Reid a reach-around is no small feet. It is certainly a challenge in it’s own right. But it’s one that I’m glad to be undertaking.

Keep the fight alive.

- Freemont Barrington 

Friends of Free-

My dick has been deemed permission to pass through many vaginas in my lifetime—some situations taking hours of convincing, others dragging on for weeks. Some were a gentle slide through. Others were a fight to the last moment before penetration. But, in the end, I don’t regret a one of them. I’ve had sex with so many lovely women of this world that I believe, contrary to some feminist scum who say otherwise, that it has made me a better and more compassionate man.

Now, the Republicans are making you believe that this “Deem and Pass” method of passing the healthcare reform bill is an all out gang rape. They want to portray the Democrats as shoving their stiff dicks down the assholes of the American people. But, in the end, what I believe is that it’s about fucking time that these pussy Democrats played some Republican politics in order to get something done in this country. I do have to agree with many liberal bloggers and journalists and so forth that the passing of this bill (despite its many faults) would be an important step forward for healthcare in this country and for the American people. I hear these Republican talking points and all I can think of is of an old, white male American as he chomps on a cigar at a Little League baseball game and yells at the umpires. It’s fucking trite, old man, and time enough to step aside and let it go. 

So, the issue that stands before us right now is not the Republicans, but, rather, the Democrats. And over the next few days it will be the job of Nancy Pelosi and the White House to get as many members of the House of Representatives on board in order to deem this fucker and have it on the president’s desk to sign into law. We’re at the convincing stage of this debate, FOF, and hopefully something that looks similar to the homestretch. For the next couple of days the progressive House members will crow about the lack of a public option and the conservative, blue dog fuckwads will get all nervous about their constituents, fiscal responsibility, and their reelection.

That being the case, my Free word of advice to Nancy Pelosi (if I may draw comparison to my sexual conquests) is as follows:

Blue Dog Democrats are like Catholic girls. They are very fucking uptight about their vaginas. You need to work and work these girls. You need to show that you do, indeed, care about them, you just don’t understand that whole church thing and you’d prefer the relationship to move on from this heavy petting stage—one that is giving you a terrible case of blue balls on a regular basis. So, here’s the deal, Ms. Pelosi— since these Catholic girls (especially Irish Catholic) are so hung up on that vagina— you’re going to have to act very deliberately to bring it home. The solution I’ve found is that you take her to dinner and show her a nice night out on the town, you get her very drunk, and then when you go back home and you’re getting after it, you propose that you’ll slip it in the backdoor. You assure her that you’ve done this before and that, according to her logic, she’ll still be a vaginal virgin when it’s all over. And you reasonably explain to her that she’s not going to want to do this shit smelling escapade with her eventual husband anyways. Now, I don’t like ass sex that much, Nancy, but, sometimes you need to take one for the team. And you’ve been doing a surprisingly good job of that in the last week.

Progressive Democrats are a different story.  They are the slut girl that walks this land who has fucked every one of your friends, but, for some reason, has a hang up on fucking you because she doesn’t understand your sense of humor or she’s afraid that you’re so goddamn fucking cool that she’s going to fall in love with you or something. Well, Nance, this is what you do with the slut girl—you don’t stop cracking your usual jokes. In fact, you lay them on even thicker. And you weasel yourself deep into her psyche until the thought of having sex with you begins to enter her mind. And, when the issue is raised again, you convince her that it’s just sex. It might be good. It might be bad. But, you’ll never know if you don’t try it. And all you’re really doing is depriving yourselves of something that could be mutually beneficial to the both of you. That, Nancy, is how you work an uninterested slut into a steady fuck buddy. I’ve done it a hundred times if I’ve done it once, Madam Speaker.  

With that said, I wish the best to all my Friends of Freemont this weekeend. I do still promise a self-produced Photoshop if this bill is deemed and passed. Although, now I’ll have to most likely adjust the image to Obama ass-licking Nancy Pelosi and then giving Harry Reid the reach-around.  I think that’s the way to go.  Now where else can you go for that kind of political coverage outside the world of the Free?

So, what’ll be Democrats? A nice ass-licking, reach-around or another decade of madness?

The Only Show in Town,

Mr. Freemont Barrington 

Well, folks, the second half of the summit was much like the first… talking points, talking points, talking points. There was no moment like the McCain-Obama ‘we’re-not-campaigning-anymore, John’ exchange and no poignant remarks like those of Louise Slaughter about healthcare reform and its connection to American poverty. The closest instant was the closing statement by Senator Dingell, which was more depressing than anything else due to the fact that he has one foot in the grave and we still aren’t going to make a move on healthcare reform despite him bringing it to the Senate floor every single year of his career as a congressman.

I sit in my location atop Winter Hill right now, Friends of Freemont, and the winds outside are raging like the dickens and, if I were a religious man, I might think it the angry rathe of God raining down on Massachusetts for fucking up healthcare reform by electing Scott Brown to the Senate. But I am not a religious man. I am an utter atheist and I know that the only real reason we are in this mess is because of the fucking naiveté of a large percentage of Americans and the dysfunctional state of its government. And, yes, people of Massachusetts, I do realize that Scott Brown is a seeming moderate and that he broke party lines this week to vote on a job bill, but I am completely disgusted with the simple fact that health insurance is still such a high burden in our society.

The point that Nancy Pelosi began the talks with was a good one (despite her being a snake-haired bitch). She asked us to imagine a world where healthcare was made more affordable, where people could choose their healthcare plans more freely, and where ingenuity and creativity would be rewarded since you wouldn’t need to be tied down to a corporate job to receive coverage. The Dems in the second half of this debate needed to be hitting on these points every time a Republican said that most Americans did not want this bill to pass, but they failed to do so.

In fact, there was a moment when one Republican congressman said that if you asked a room full of insured Americans if they believed their health coverage would change for the worse if this reform bill passed through the Senate, that every hand in the room would go up. EVERY hand? Really? That is just not fucking true, you Republican cunt. And Obama should have cut him off right there, but he did not. The truth is that insurance plans would be unaffected- plain and simple. What we would have instead, however, is a system where many more choices would be given to the American people. The system would be more flexible and more forgiving to those people who are currently falling through its cracks.

I think that, on a fundamental level, this is where the Democrats’ argument is the strongest- the fact that Republicans are unable to provide a good answer for struggling lower middle class and middle class Americans in their version of healthcare reform. But, the unfortunate theme of this entire debate has been that Republicans have played a lot better politics at scaring these same Americans than the Democrats have in convincing them.

So, that, folks, is where the state of things lie after today. There was no common ground met, there was no movement by either side. The Repubs want to start at square one without any compromise. Now, the Dems will have to sell the idea of reconciliation to its Senators, which will be very tricky politics since there is a huge debate as to whether this Congressional procedure can even be used for such a large governmental initiative. You can thank that to the Byrd rule, which is (you guessed it) nothing more than another typical Senate loophole that will lead to more bipartisanship and more filibustering as Senators fight over how the concept of reconciliation should be interpreted.

Okay, well, that was pretty much stream of conscious so I apologize for any lack in professional blogging on my part. But only in such a state of stream of consciousness could I describe the mind fuck that was that awful Congressional hearing that occurred today.

My prediction is that tomorrow a poll will show that a slim majority of Americans actually agree with the Democrats after this summit. However, it will not matter. Because my second prediction on this fucked up evening (which almost seems like the rapture as the building I’m typing this from shakes with high winds and rain) is that today marked the end of the healthcare reform bill. The climate is far too politically volatile and, unless one Republican is willing to step across the aisle, I see the process of reconciliation as drawing us even deeper into the muddle of bipartisan Senate politics.

The ONLY hope lies in the miracle of Obama playing some brilliant politics, which we have yet to see throughout this entire debate.

As far as MY solution on how to make the government change— I’d like to gather a group of poverty-stricken individuals and, much like the Black Panthers, obtain permits for firearms and storm the nation’s capital. I hate guns, Friends of Freemont. But, maybe its time we take extreme measures to get our point across.

- Freemont Barington (on the night healthcare died)