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There’s been much discussion over the use of vulgarity within the world of Freemont over the last few weeks. And, quite frankly, I’m getting fucking sick of it. If you tuned into Roger Nicholson’s show this past Sunday you saw this discussion first hand as we tried to hash it out with the Executive Director of CCTV, Susan Fleischmann. Susan was a good sport to come on air with us and I think it provided for some interesting real life content for the show. But, I also feel that it is necessary for me to further clarify here the purpose behind my use of vulgarity on this blog. Because it will become quite important as I move forward with the creation of my own program, The Freemont Show, which will air on Somerville Community Access Television in the weeks ahead and will be a cleaned-up version of what you may have caught on CCTV and read on this blog.

Let me start by saying that every revolutionary like myself knows that vulgarity is an important part of the revolution. That is because the human experience can be brought down to its most basic level when we completely free ourselves from such societal constraints such as the ambiguous obscenity standards that exist within the United States of America. As a radical, I believe in a revolution in which the middleclass must embrace the vulgarity and the abrasiveness that exists on the streets among the poor and downtrodden folks of our community. By doing this, they will be able to more freely open themselves up to joining with the lower classes in the revolutionary fight of restoring the power back to the people—a power that has been politically highjacked by the wealthiest people of this nation for decades. For me, vulgarity is the focal point at which we radicals must make a connection with the middleclass because it is the everyday willingness of the middleclass to adhere to the cultural norms of the rich and powerful that prevents the progress of a revolution. And, until the middleclass realizes this, the revolution will not be able to achieve its fullest potential for success.

The opposite of a revolution is the maintenance of the status quo by the rich and powerful. Therefore, it is in the best interest of the rich to preserve a middleclass that is both obedient and apathetic. Only when the middleclass becomes willing to embrace the culture of the struggle (by shedding their loyalty to the social standards that are dictated by the rich) will they be ready to join our revolution. I believe that the easiest way to crack the middleclass’s shell of social apathy is through the use of vulgar and sexual politics. That is why I embrace the use of vulgarity with open arms and that is why, within this blog, I aim to create political satire through the use of vulgar words and images. I am not simply trying to shock. My goal is not to pollute the minds of America’s youth. Instead, I am working to change the way that people think about the world around them and how they confront the political challenges that continue to prevent a more rich state of social equality within the United States of America. So, despite possessing a dirty mouth that could use a good soap washing, I also lay claim to a mind that is deeply concerned with the advancement of equality and firmly founded in the intellectualism of social thought. 

That is my philosophy on vulgarity. And, as I move ahead with The Freemont Show, I will adhere to the rules of Somerville Public Access Television in order to spread the Good News of Freemont Barrington over their local airwaves. But know that the true nature of my revolution will remain here on this blog and on the tongues of the people that make up the Friends of Freemont across this battered nation.

Power to the Friends of Free,

Mr. Freemont Barrington   

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Ladies and Gentlemen -

I give to you above the theme song for the upcoming Freemont Show to air in September on Somerville Community Access Television (SCATV). There will be video to go along with this audio and, when complete, a hell of an intro to my show. I send my thanks to Mr. Backcorner and the Sports who set aside their usual nihilism to create this number.

Friends of Freemont and the City of Somerville - let the revolution begin. And let it begin local.

- Free 

Prop 8 was overturned this week by a California judge. Personally, I think my man kiss at the Tea Party rally in April did its small part in upsetting the rightly shifted balance of the universe. As you know I am a deep pessimist who believes the United States of America is a corrupt landfill of mindless political waste. But, Prop 8 being taken down for the disgraceful unconstitutional piece of monkey shit it was, is certainly a brief glimpse of light in this very long and dark sinkhole of human excrement that has been this past year in U.S. politics.

I will be spending the weekend up north touching up on my gorilla survival skills. But I hope that I can return home in time for another CCTV appearance on Sunday night. I’m sure Roger Nicholson will have a thing or two to say about this ruling.

Maybe I’ll even wear some lipstick.

News about my own show on Somerville Public Access shall be forthcoming. I have already sent out a wire to the local press. And Mr. Backcorner and I have begun our creative meetings. So, if you live in the Somerville area, tighten your fucking safety belts.

- Freemont Barrington    

DOG SHIT:
Location: Somerville- Corner of Broadway and Bartlett
Duration of Stay: about two weeks (as you can see by slight decomposition into an orange center).
Possible Beast: Seemingly large by its well-formed consistency; maybe something in way of a Labrador.
Possible Owner: An asshole, most likely male caucasian with cigarette breath (no scientific evidence here- strictly on a hunch).

DOG SHIT:

Location: Somerville- Corner of Broadway and Bartlett

Duration of Stay: about two weeks (as you can see by slight decomposition into an orange center).

Possible Beast: Seemingly large by its well-formed consistency; maybe something in way of a Labrador.

Possible Owner: An asshole, most likely male caucasian with cigarette breath (no scientific evidence here- strictly on a hunch).

I just wanted to send out a brief post about the absurd sidewalk dog shit problem that we have in Somerville. Let me first start by saying that, while I do like animals and possess a rather unique kinship with them, I do not own one. Nor do I care to. My life as a revolutionary is extremely chaotic and I am an intelligent enough human being to realize what a unnecessary hassle it would be to have one. Perhaps, one day, I will roam this land with a nice retriever mix named Solomon. But, until then, I like being the lone man of mystery. And I fucking hate dog people. I hate their dog dates. I hate their dog sweaters and their dog strollers (that I’m now seeing in Somerville). And I hate that, with all the snow melted away now, the streets of Somerville are littered in dog shit. Now, I realize that their is a difference between a yuppie cunt who is pushing her baby poodle, MiMi, in a goddamn pet stroller and the thirteen-year-old son of an alcoholic asshole who lets his dog take a shit on the sidewalk without disposing of it. But, as far as I’m concerned at this point in my life, you dog people are all the fucking same and I’m drawing a line in the fucking sand.

It’s time for the City of Somerville to pay less attention to these Draconian parking laws that they have instituted over the last 6 months and pay more attention to the rights of pedestrians. And it should start by the aggressive ticketing of these assholes who are leaving animal excrement on the fucking sidewalk. Now, isn’t that something we can all agree on?

And while these lazy good-for-nothing, donut-chomping law enforcers are at it, they can start puling over more Masshole fuckwads and Yuppie scum who blow through blatant red lights at every Somerville intersection. That’s right, Somerville police, a little less arrests of poor black people and a little more moving violations would be fine by me. You pig, fucks.

And last, but certainly not least, we can round out all the classes in this town by implementing a law that says no SUV is allowed to park within 10 feet of a driveway. You want to increase your revenue on parking tickets? I’m sure that’ll help rake in the doe. That’s right, you greedy Yuppie scum— ten fucking feet.

These are my requests on behalf of the pedestrians of Somerville. I will be documenting in this blog the aforementioned cases. I may even present my evidence to our worthless, WOP of a Mayor after my field research is complete.

Have a beautiful Saturday, Somerville. And do be careful while walking your dogs because the Friends of Free will be on the lookout.

The New King of Winter Hill

Mr. Freemont Barrington

Has anyone in Somerville noticed that there are an unusual amount of street lamps out?Now, I often use this to my advantage when running from the cops.  But I also exercise to stay in shape so that I can outrun these doughnut chompers. And, with all the goddamn street lights blown, it makes training to my highest capacity quite difficult. So, could the city do the pedestrians a favor and take all that extra cash they’ve been raking in from upping the cost of parking meters and replace our dead city lights? Because this is fucking horse shit and people are going to start getting hit by trucks.

I am fully confident that I will be able to continue to escape the fuzz, even with the additional illumination.

Or, to call him down in Pigville, simply dial: (202) 225-5111.

Caucuses are for farts and fucks.  Pass this Bill.

As a resident of Somerville, Massachusetts this is a rather quiet election day.  I’ve been spending the last few weeks in a pot-induced haze trying to come up with some performance art to stage, but am too fucking tired on this Tuesday.  So, what I think I’ll do, as part of my Election Day resolution, is to start harassing Mayor Curtatone’s office.  Let me tell you—there’s something fishy about that WOP mother fucker.  And if you don’t think he’s up to some corrupt bullshit, you’re being the typical naive, Masshole local that I see prowling around these pothole-filled streets everyday.  I realize that we are in a recession, but if this Guido fuck of a mayor gets any tougher with the street parking laws in this horse shit city, he could, without exaggeration, be compared to the Gestapo.  It’s just like a gutless Italian to implement Nazi protocol when it comes to public parking.  Listen, folks—I’m not kidding about this shit.  Name one Somerville city service that you are satisfied with.  I’ll give you one: garbage removal.  Well, if Somerville is so diligent about picking up trash, why don’t they take this greasy fuck of a mayor out to the fills, stand him upright, and smack some sense into him the old-fashioned way.  I’m tired of this shit, man.  I’m thinking of forming an alliance with the Brazilians.  Any of you US citizen Somerville Brazilians want to take a stab at elected office, you just let Uncle Freemont know.  Because I can’t deal with this greasy dicked, Gestapo-loving mayor much longer.  Power to the people, Joe.  Power to the mother fucking people.

- Freemont Barrington