A Freebie from Freemont

A rather interesting day today in politics. I don’t know where to start really so I’m thinking of not starting at all. Perhaps I should stay on the local issues and avoid falling into the pile of flaming shit that is Washington D.C. But that would be too fucking easy. So, let me give you a brief Freemont breakdown.

I’ve been following this Congressman Eric Massa story for a good portion of the day and I’m not sure I could really give you any real political analysis other than to say he’s off his fucking rocker. In two interviews in a matter of hours, he went from telling Glenn Beck that he decided to leave his post because of claims that he inappropriately groped a male staff member. He admitted to Beck that this did occur, but it was nothing more than a friendly tickling session that went too far and he takes full responsibility for. Then, I saw this same fuckwad on Larry King telling a caller that the reason he left office is because he is going to receive the test results of a CAT Scan tomorrow that will tell him if he has Cancer or not. This comes after a radio interview where he bashed White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, for bullying Congress members. In the interview, Massa sited a case where Emanuel approached him in the shower chamber of the Congressional gym as both men were still naked and pushed his finger into Massa’s chest scolding him for not voting for the President’s budget.

I mean where the fuck do you start with this? This fucking guy is all over the map. The White House is claiming that the encounter never happened. But anyone who has read a thing or two about Rahm Emanuel, I’m sure, holds their suspicions. This is Rahm’s MO. He’s a Chicago-blooded politician known for his vulgar outbursts who made a name for himself through his heated interactions with Congress members while serving in the Senate. Of course this fucking shower scene happened. And the fucking White House should own up to it. At least it would show they have some fucking balls. Rahm should put out a obscenity-riddled statement that describes the scene in his own words and ends what he honestly thinks of this loose cannon, Massa.

But here I am falling into the swamp of shit that is Washington D.C. and I really didn’t want to. Massa is gone. Good fucking riddance to him. If you can’t take the heat, get the fuck out. New York, it seems, will hold a special election in the near future.

The other news that occurred, but seemed to escape coverage by any of the vagina news networks was that there was actually a protest in Washington from the ‘left.’ If you missed it, here’s the brief blurb I found from the Wash Post. I find it rather interesting that left-leaning citizens are marching on Washington in support of the healthcare reform bill at the same time progressive Democrats who are against passing the bill are fleeing their posts because they believe Washington cannot get anything accomplished (as Massa also stated as a reason for his departure). It’s all very mind-blowing in an acid trip kind of way.

So, that’s your Freemont news brief. What I’m going to try to do in order to wiggle my way out of this pile of flaming dog shit is to focus on broader social issues and local urban annoyances because I find them much more interesting than this Washington drama. I also have been promising you readers a Friends of Freemont Show that I will deliver to you very soon. I’m sorry it has taken this long, but, quite frankly, my so-called friends are assholes and almost as insane as I am.

The Friends of Free Show should provide a nice break from this Washington horse shit and will allow more of a Freeform discussion. And also—to wet your pallets—I still intend to kiss a guy in order to promote gay rights and to interview a former member of the New Left about the Tea Party movement.

Some delicious morsels to come, Free Friends, that shall entertain you as you try not to drown in this whirlpool of shit.

Happy treading feces.

Your Pal,

Freemont Barrington

The first American Christmas happened in 1776.  It was on the eve of the 25th into the morn of the 26th when the British occupying troops and German conscripts, the Hessians, who had ravaged the Jersey colonists’ homes and farms for weeks, slumbered, fat and satiated from their Christmas feasts, on the other side of the Delaware River in Trenton.  Little did these troops know, though, that this false sense of comfort following their overwhelming victories in Long Island and Manhattan would prove their most inauspicious enemy.

It was Christmas night when General George Washington crossed the Delaware River into New Jersey under the cover of darkness. About halfway into their journey, Washington and his men where engulfed by a terrible storm of sleet and frozen rain—at least one American soldier froze to death along the way.  By the time they reached land, Washington and his troops were hours behind schedule, a lot of them marching to shore with cloth wrapped around their feet in place of shoes and bellies empty and starving due to the long winter that had depleted their food and supplies and morale.  

Yet, despite the storm pushing back the timeliness of their attack, the rebel troops were still able to catch the Hessians by surprise.  The Hessians, so confident of the Americans’ ineffectiveness as a fighting unit, had left their lookout points abandoned for the Christmas evening.  And, so, the rebel troops came to shore undetected.  When the Hessians finally became aware of the attack, they were highly unprepared, stomachs slow and fat with Christmas feast, hangovers abound, and guns frozen by the freshly fallen icy rain.  

The battle was a stolen victory and a necessary one for the Americans and especially for General Washington whose competence had been called into question by his men as well as the other patriot generals.  When the Battle of Trenton was finished, 106 Hessians were dead and 868 captured along with much needed supplies.  The Americans had lost but four men.  And Washington had saved the Revolution while exposing the English army’s worst flaw- their arrogance.

So, take heed on this Christmas Night of eves more rebellious and more successful, of morns more productive in the face of eminent defeat, and of a time when the necessities were scarce but the only want was for a victory and a sense of idealistic pride for the cause of a revolution.

Before the plastic absurdity of it all, that was the last real American Christmas.

Happy Awakenings Amerika,

Freemont Barrington